CRK

 Often when we talk I learn more about you.  I keep thinking I might be getting close to knowing the extent of your thoughtfulness, then something new surfaces.  Helping others is such a part of you that I'm not even sure you see the whole of it.  You've built service into your life in a way that few others have.   I knew, of course, that you led your troop, and then helped other scouts with the swimming badge.  Then you shockingly offered to help Genevieve continue outside of the group classes.  Then I learned that you coached wrestling, spending countless hours mentoring young adults. Your friends then started to call you while in crisis and you dropped everything to help.  You helped your friend with the trapped deer.  You showed up for Suki.  In the midst of this you helped with at least three Eagle projects.  You collect and fix bikes to give to scouts.  You spend your vacation cutting down dangerous trees at a camp w...

 In the beginning, I'd drift off to sleep after we'd texted goodnight, imagining your hands on me, but stopping before anything else ran through my head that could keep me awake longer than your words already had.   I knew it was silly.  It felt so good to imagine you there though.  It felt less alone.   And now, magically it seems, you have been there.  The real life you, not a figment.  It feels shocking to be wanted, and even more shocking to be wanted by someone I have craved.   I keep the memory of you reaching for my waist and turning me back toward you to kiss me again.  Stroking my hair gently.  Kissing me warmly on the forehead as my head rests on your chest.  Squeezing me close to you. Wrapping me up in you.  Every time I think of you, I feel my body flush and tense with longing.  You asked me to let you know every once in a while that I still wanted you.  I do.